The mystery of Sinatra's gravestone switch

 Frank Sinatra is buried not far from the Twin Palms home that he occupied from 1947 to 1957. He lived there with his first wife Nancy and their three kids, and then with Ava Gardener after he and Nancy divorced. Katie and I drove by the house and peeked at the grounds from outside the gate, and then went over to the Desert Memorial Park cemetery to have a look at Frank’s grave.

  

According to Tony Oppedisano, author of “Sinatra and Me, In the Wee Small Hours”, Frank wanted his grave to be easily accessible to his fans. We found it not far off the main cemetery road just across from the office. It was a flat marble slab with the name Francis Albert Sinatra and below it, “Sleep Warm, Poppa, 1913-1998”. One single flower drooped in front. 

But this was not the gravestone that I expected. Every picture of his grave that I saw on-line had “The Best Is Yet to Come” and “Beloved Husband and Father” under his name. It looked like it had been recently changed, but why?

I found an article by David Lansing in the online magazine “Palm Springs Life”.  He too wanted to know why the gravestone was switched. When Lansing asked the manager of the cemetery, she said she knew what happened, but didn’t want to tell him.  He asked why and she said she didn’t want to get “in the middle of it” and suggested he ask Frank’s daughters or the police.

Lansing next requested the records from the police department, but when he got the records back, everything having to do with the incident had been redacted. Frustrated, Lansing asked his editor to formally request the records from the Palms Springs Public Records Department. He wanted two questions answered, who authorized the headstone change and when did it happen? The editor received a letter back that basically said they have the record but are not going to release it because “the public interest served by not releasing the record clearly outweighs the disclosure of the requested record.”

Lansing attempted to contact Frank’s daughters, but got no reply, so he tried contacting his granddaughters. One declined his request and the others didn’t respond. No one wanted to talk about it “…not the cemetery, not the police, not Frank’s daughters, not his granddaughters.”

Then out of the blue, Lansing was contacted by a person who was “connected to the Sinatra family for over 45 years”. All this person would say was that someone took a hammer to the gravestone and tried to chip out “Husband”. Because of the damage, the gravestone had to be replaced and “The best is yet to come” was changed to “Sleep warm poppa”, which didn't seem appropriate for someone who was dead and buried in the cold ground. But then "The Best is yet to Come" didn't seem all that appropriate either. 

In the article, Lansing talks about the animosity between Frank’s wife Barbara and his two daughters, Nancy and Tina. He gives several examples of the problems they had with each other. Lansing draws on information from Tina’s book about her dad. In the book Tina says that Frank used to always carry a roll of dimes in his pocket “so he’d never be caught short at a pay phone.” Before Frank was buried, Tina slipped a roll of dimes into his pocket with a note that said, “Sleep warm Poppa-look for me.”

Not only did Frank enter eternity with dimes for a pay phone and a note from his daughter, but also someone slipped a full bottle of Jack Daniels and a pack of Camel cigarettes into the coffin as well. Frank was buried like King Tut, having everything he needed for the afterlife.

Lansing quotes Tina from the book, “While I missed my father desperately in those months, I could hear him saying: Don’t despair honey, don’t despair. I could also hear him saying: Don’t get mad, get even.” And that’s where Lansing left it. So, it’s still unclear what actually happened, and I guess it will remain a closely guarded Palm Springs secret.

Frank was one of the most popular entertainers in the world. He had fame, fortune, many loves and a career doing what he loved to do. As I stood over his grave in the intense summer sun, the cemetery seemed eerily quiet. No one was around except for a few workers in the distance tending the grounds. The lonely, wilted flower next to the grave, made me think how fleeting and impermanent this life is.

 

Sinatra's Twin Palms House

 

Near the end of June Katie and I drove north to get away from the Arizona heat and to visit family and friends in Washington state. We take our time on these trips and stop along the way to view local sights or hike in beautiful areas. Besides, our aging bodies demand that we get out of the car and move around at regular intervals.

Our first night’s stop was Palm Springs. For years I’ve been interested in the history of Palm Springs as Hollywood’s favorite get-away destination and playground. This exodus of the rich and famous to the desert began in the 1930s, a time when gossip columnists like Louella Parsons and Hedda Hopper could derail an actor’s career by revealing details of their personal lives. The newspapers of the time paid travel expenses for columnists for up to 100 miles and Palm Springs was just over the limit. Famous people wanting to get out of the limelight could drive to Palm Springs from LA in just a couple of hours and be out of the paparazzi’s reach.

Before leaving on our trip, I had just finished reading the book, “Sinatra and Me, In the Wee Small Hours”, by Tony Oppedisano. I was a total rock & roll fan growing up in the Midwest in the 50s and 60s but later in life my taste in music expanded and I became a Sinatra fan. Tony O’s book is not so much a biography of Frank but a memoir of Tony’s experiences and close friendship with him.

Tony O was a singer and musician and performed periodically at Jilly’s night club in Manhattan where many of the rich and famous hung out, including Frank. One night in December 1972, Frank came into Jilly’s and Jilly introduced him to Tony.  They became friends right away. At the time Tony was just 21 years old.

Jilly was Frank’s confidant for about 40 years, accompanying him on tours. “He was there for Frank for anything he needed”. In 1992 on his 75^th birthday, Jilly was broadsided by a drunk driver and died. Frank was devastated. Jilly’s death left a big hole in his life. Tony worked his way into filling that hole, becoming Frank’s “road manager” and confidant.

Frank was the most popular entertainer of his generation. Before Taylor Swift, Michael Jackson, the Beatles and Elvis, in the 1940s, Frank had legions of girls screaming at his concerts. These young women were called “Bobby Soxers” by the media, because of the way they dressed--loose skirts, ankle socks and black and white saddle shoes. At the time this was a rebellious way to dress. The Bobby Soxers’ music was jazz and swing and their favorite singer was Frank.

In 1952 Sinatra's career tanked and Columbia records dropped him. But he revived his career in 1953, after making the movie “From Here to Eternity” and subsequently winning the Academy Award and signing with Capitol records. He began recording with Nelson Riddle and he and Riddle had a great working relationship. Together they produced many of Sinatra’s most popular recordings. It was this era of Frank’s music that turned me into a fan.

According to Tony O, Frank felt most at home in the southwest desert. I could identify with that feeling. In 1947 Frank had a house built in Palm Springs as a get-away for his young family. He had just earned his first million and signed a movie contract with MGM. He originally wanted architect E. Stewart Williams to build him a Georgian style house with brick façade and columns. Williams and his business partner brother thought this was just wrong for the desert and suggested a design more in harmony with the desert environment. They showed Frank plans for a “Desert Modern House”, a mid-century modern design. He liked it, and so they started work on what is now called Sinatra’s “Twin Palms House”.

Frank, his wife Nancy, and their two children, Frank Jr. and Nancy "Jr." occupied the house just prior to the Christmas holiday in 1947. In 1948 their daughter Tina was born, but later that same year Nancy and the kids moved out because of Frank’s affair with Ava Gardner. Frank and Ava married in 1951 and she moved into Twin Palms with him. It was quite a volatile marriage and ended in divorce in 1957. Frank sold the house and bought another property up on a hill subsequently called "the Rancho Mirage compound". It became his home base until he and his 4^th wife Babara sold it in 1995. He was briefly married to Mia Farrow, his 3rd wife, sometime in the 1970s.

Twin Palms was not far from our hotel, so Katie and I drove by to have a look. It was in the middle of a sprawling, upscale suburban neighborhood. We couldn’t see past the front wall, so we went around to the back and peeked through the gate.  There are plenty of photos online of both the outside and inside of the house which can be rented through Luxury Vacation Rentals, with emphasis on "luxury". Katie and I will not be staying there any time soon.  

 When Sinatra occupied Twin Palms there were no surrounding houses. The views of the mountains in the background are spectacular. I could imagine the peace he found that Tony O describes, sitting by the pool on still, warm nights, drinking Jack Daniels and smoking Camel cigarettes.  It was definitely a different era.  

 

Andy's Gang, a favorite children's TV show from the fifties

 Mr. Peabody instructs Sherman to set the Wayback machine to the year 1955

 While driving through Kingman, Arizona, on our way back to Washington state, Katie and I noticed the street we were on was Andy Devine Avenue. Andy Devine was a character actor in movies and television shows and died in 1977. When I looked him up online, I found out that he was born in Flagstaff, and grew up in Kingman. He is the town's favorite native son. In the Mohave Museum in Kingman, there is a whole room devoted to his life and career.  

Devine started his career on the radio in the 1930s, then transitioned into movies and television, acting in over 400 films, mostly Westerns. He played Roy Rogers' sidekick, Cookie, in ten films and was in several John Wayne movies. But I mostly remember him from Saturday morning television. "The Adventures of Wild Bill Hickock" ran from 1951-1958. Devine played Jingles, Wild Bill's sidekick. In the opening of every show, Wild Bill, played by Guy Madison, is galloping on his horse, shooting his pistol at who knows what, and Jingles is pulling up the rear, trying to keep his hat from blowing off.  Jingles yells in his unforgettable high raspy voice, "Hey Wild Bill, wait for me," as if Wild Bill would slow down and let the bad guys get away just so Jingles could catch up. 

"Andy's Gang", or "The Andy Devine Show" ran from 1955-1960. Andy took over the show that was originally called, "Smilin' Ed McConnell and his Buster Brown Gang". It was first on the radio and then became a television show. In 1954, Smilin' Ed suddenly died of a heart attack. This popular children's show needed a replacement and Andy took over in 1955.  Buster Brown Shoes continued to sponsor the show. Buster Brown was a comic book character created in 1902 and adopted by the Brown Shoe Company as its mascot in 1904, along with his creepy looking dog Tige.  Buster was an effeminate looking boy in a weird costume. 

Andy inherited many of the same characters from Smilin' Ed's show; Midnight the cat, Squeaky the mouse, Grandie the talking piano and everybody's favorite, Froggy the Gremlin.

When Andy said, "Pluck your magic twanger Froggy," in a puff of smoke, Froggy would appear on top of the old clock and say in a low voice, "Hiya kids, hiya, hiya, hiya," and the kids in the audience would go wild. There were no actual kids in the audience, but like "canned laughter", clips of the audience laughing were cut in where appropriate. Froggy appeared in skits with a teacher or a French baker, who would be instructing the audience on how to do something. In the middle of his instruction, Froggy would rudely interrupt, and the instructor would become flustered. In one skit I remember, the baker was teaching us how to make a cream pie. When the baker said what he was going to do next, Froggy interrupted saying, "and you put it on your head." and the befuddled baker put the pie on his head, and it dripped down all over his face. I thought this was hilarious. 

But the best part of the show were the stories about an East Indian boy. Andy would pick up his big Story Book, sit down in an overstuffed chair and begin reading. As his voice faded out, a film began running with the latest adventure of Gunga Ram and his best friend Rama. The boys' job was tending the elephants used in a Teak lumber company. They also helped the Maharajah when he got into some sort of jam. I felt as though I was transported to an exotic land and envied the boys riding around on elephants and having adventures in a land filled with wild animals like tigers, pythons and monkeys. 

 Frank Ferrin produced both Andy's Gang and a movie called "Sabaka" which was filmed partially in India and partially in LA. What we saw on Andy's Gang were clips taken from the movie and developed into their own mini stories for the show. Gunga Ram was played by an Italian actor named Nino Marcel. At the time I watched it, I wouldn't have cared about any of this motion picture gimmickry, historical inaccuracy or inauthenticity. I thought the show was great.

 

The End of Innocence

 1955

1965

1968

Bob Kuban and the In-men, Our Local Band

 

The St. Louis area spawned many famous musicians, most notably Chuck Berry, Ike and Tina Turner and more recently Michael McDonald, who graduated from McClure High School, in Florissant, Mo. I had already graduated from McClure before he entered high school, so I'm sorry to say, I didn't know him. In North St. Louis in the mid '60s the local band that made the big-time was Bob Kuban and the In-Men. If you've heard of them, you are either familiar with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's one hit wonder list or you’re from the St. Louis area or you have an incredible amount of rock and roll trivia rambling around in your brain. I'm guilty of all three.

Bob Kuban was the drummer and band leader of the In-Men. On Friday nights during the summer, his band would play at Jackson Park, a relatively small park in Berkeley, a north St. Louis suburb. Jackson Park hosted a variety of local bands during the hot St. Louis summer nights. In the summers of 1964 and 1965, my friends and I would go back and forth between Jackson Park and the local YMCA where there was usually a band playing as well. But when Bob Kuban and the In-Men were playing at Jackson Park, we tried not to miss it. It was a first-rate band.

The Beatles and the British bands were taking over America at that time and they were the major influence on popular music. Bob Kuban's band was not your typical band of the era. It had more in common with the earlier rhythm and blues bands of Ike Turner, Wilson Picket and James Brown. In an interview, Kuban states that Ike Turner was a big influence on him and his formation of the band. As a footnote, in 1951 before Tina joined him, Ike Turner's band was called The Kings of Rhythm. They recorded a song called Rocket 88 which some believe was the very first rock and roll song.

Bob Kuban had an eight-piece band with horns, drums and keyboard, which was played by Greg Hoeltzel, who lived in my neighborhood. The lead singer was Walter Scott, who had a great voice for that style of music. During those two summers we listened to our local band, knowing they were a cut above the other local groups, playing in their unique St. Louis style. This was several years before Chicago, originally called (Chicago Transit Authority) and Blood Sweat and Tears would bring the big band sound back to popular music. In 1966 Bob Kuban and the In-Men hit it big with The Cheater. The song was all over the radio for months. That year we watched our local guys on national TV, but their run was short lived. They had only a few other songs that got national play, Teaser, and a cover of a Beatles song Drive My Car. I also remember hearing a song called Jerkin' Time and the Bat Man Theme on the radio as well, but they may have just been popular locally.

Walter Scott left the band shortly after The Cheater's popularity to pursue a solo career. He never had another hit song, but in his repertoire, he sang (Look out for The Cheater) over and over again in a variety of performance venues. In 1983, when Bob Kuban was trying to get the original band back together for a reunion concert, he discovered that Walter Scott was missing. Scott was found 4 years later floating face down in a cistern with his ankles, knees and wrists bound. He had been shot through the heart from the back. In one of life's ironic turns, it was discovered that his murderers were his “cheater” wife and her "cheater" boyfriend. There was a Forensic Files TV show about it, as well as a book written titled The Cheaters: The Walter Scott Murder by Scottie Piesmeyer.

I don’t know if Bob Kuban still has his band. He would be in his 80s today. I read that not too long ago, the Bob Kuban Brass played a summer evening gig at Jackson Park and invited all the fans to come out for old time's sake. I would have liked to have been there. I live out west and haven't been back to St. Louis since 2002. But I still have memories of those hot summer evenings in the '60s at Jackson Park, listening to our local band that made the big-time.

Here's a link to The Cheater

(131) The Cheater (Remastered) - YouTube

 

The Birth of Motown

In 1957 Barry Gordy went to an audition with Jackie Wilson’s manager to hear a local group called the Matadors. Their lead singer was a 17-year-old Smokey Robinson. At the time, Gordy was writing and producing songs in Detroit for artists on a variety of record labels, most famously Wilson’s hit song Lonely Teardrops. Wilson’s manager declined to sign the Matadors, but Gordy saw potential in the young singer and his group. Gordy discovered that Smokey already had hundreds of songs written in a notebook and Gordy helped him craft the best ones. 

Gordy wanted to start his own independent music label and Smokey had the passion and creative talent to help make it happen. So, Gordy made Smokey his vice president and together they formed Motown records. They bought a photographic studio in Detroit and converted the downstairs into a recording studio and business office. Gordy lived upstairs. He called the house, Hitsville USA and that’s exactly what came out of it, hit after hit. 

In 1960 they had their first million selling record, Shop Around written by Smokey and performed by “Smokey (Bill) Robinson and the Miracles”(changed from Matadors). Between 1961 and 1971, Motown had 110 top ten hits from their all-black artists, which included: the Miracles, the Marvelettes(who had Motown’s first #1 hit on the pop charts with Please Mr. Postman), the Supremes, the Four Tops, the Jackson 5, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, the Temptations, and Martha and the Vandellas.

The Elders of Green Valley, The Silent Generation

 

View from our patio

Katie and I moved back to Arizona, but this time as snowbirds, splitting our time between Washington and Green Valley. We were in our sixties when we lived here before and the folks of the WWII Generation were the elders in this community of people 55 years and up. The youngest of that generation would now be 97 years old, so there are not many left, and those who are, don’t get out a lot. The Silent Generation, those people born between 1928 and 1945, was the dominant group, while Baby Boomers, born from 1946 to 1964, were the youngsters.

Now Boomers are the dominant group, the youngest is 59 and the oldest 77. The evidence of this Boomer take-over is everywhere. Walking the desert trails, I’m occasionally flashed the two-finger peace sign by another walker. It always takes me by surprise and I usually just give a normal wave. Many men still display their “freak flags”, with tiny thin pony tails or facial hair. The other day, I was standing in line at the grocery store and the elderly woman in front of me had long straight white hair and was wearing a colorful skirt down to her ankles. She reeked of patchouli oil, which transported me mentally back to the Oregon Country Fair in the 70s, where the dominant smells were patchouli and cannabis. We’ve attended three different music venues since we’ve been here and all the music was 50s and early 60s rock & roll.

The youngest Boomers have more in common with Gen-Xers. They were too young to remember Watergate and when the boys came of military age, the draft had already ended, so, unless they lost a loved one, the Vietnam War had little impact on their lives. The oldest Gen-Xer would be 58 and they are beginning to show up here as well. I see them holding hands, walking with a spring in their step, newly retired, hopeful, bright-eyed and bushytailed.  

The Silent Generation(SG), also referred to as Traditionalists, are the elders now. They were children during the Great Depression and the end of WWII. Couples during this time were not having a lot of babies, so they are a comparatively small generation.  As children they were strictly managed by their parents (seen but not heard) as opposed to the later more promiscuous Boomers and Gen-X children. Radio was their dominant form of entertainment. Women entered the workforce in record numbers and unions became strong and dominant in the work place. SGs inherited the values of their parents-- conformity, hard work, religiosity and early marriage. But times were changing and for the first time in American history, divorce became legal and more culturally accepted, so this generation has the highest divorce rate in US history. Communism was on the rise in the world and Joseph McCarthy attempted to root out communist leaning individuals in all walks of life. SGs made up the majority of soldiers in the Korean War. Because of these national events, this generation is described as being conservative and cautious.

And yet, this cautious and conservative generation had a rebellious undercurrent that erupted in the 1950s.  In the 1953 movie “The Wild One”, Marlon Brando’s character, the biker gang leader, was asked by another character, “Hey Johnny, what are you rebelling against?”, and he replied “What have you got?”. The 1955 movie “Rebel Without a Cause”, starring James Dean, captured the alienation, angst and confusion felt by teenage SGs. From this generation sprung the civil rights movement, which later morphed into the 60s peace movement and protests against the Vietnam War. Martin Luther King and John Lewis were SGs. The Beatniks were a 50s phenomenon, a counter-culture movement whose expression was seen in literature, art and music. They laid the foundation for the Hippies of the 60s.  

The “Beat Generation” or “Beatniks” were anti-establishment and anti-materialism. Their music was jazz by musicians like Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie and Miles Davis and their writers were Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs and Gary Snyder among others. They embraced eastern philosophy and adopted the lifestyle of the “Lost Generation” writers and French existentialists of the 20s. Some dressed in black tight outfits, horned rimmed glasses and berets and they gathered in coffee houses and listened to poetry readings or acoustic music with accompanying bongos.  My introduction to Beatniks as a child was the Maynard G. Krebs character on the TV show “The Many Lives of Dobie Gillis”, played by Bob Denver. Later I read Kerouac’s book “On the Road”. In Greenwich Village, the coffee house scene transformed in the early 60s into the folk revival movement of Silent Generation musicians like Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Judy Collins, Phil Ochs, Tom Paxton, Eric Andersen, Tom Rush, Tim Harden, and Leonard Cohen as well as John Sebastian(The Lovin Spoonful), Roger Mcguinn(The Byrds) and Cass Elliot(Mamas and the Papas).

Ken Kesey, an SG, was a direct bridge between the Beatniks and the Hippies. In 1964, he and the Merry Pranksters drove a psychedelically painted 1939 International Harvester school bus they named “Further”, across the country, smoking marijuana and dropping LSD. They stopped in small towns and visited with (or more like intimidated) the locals along the way. Neal Cassady, who Kerouac’s side kick character was based on in “On the Road”, was one of the Merry Pranksters. The “trip” was immortalized in Tom Wolf’s book “The Electric Cool-aid Acid Test”.

All the early rock & rollers were from the Silent Generation, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, Carl Perkins, the Everly Brothers, Buddy Holly, Bo Diddley, Ricky Nelson. All are dead now. Don Everly just died in 2021.

I was surprised to learn that even the second wave of rock & roll in the 60s was launched by a bunch of Silent Generation artists--the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Jerry Garcia, Surf Music inventor Dick Dale, as well as the Beach Boys(except the youngest of the Wilson brothers Carl was a Boomer) and Jan and Dean.   

Even though rock & roll was invented and carried on by individuals of the Silent Generation, it was the Boomers who made up the majority of the audience and claimed the music as their own. By the time of the British invasion in 1964, most of the SGs were married and working at their jobs, too busy to pay much attention to the music. But the hordes of Boomers just coming of age, latched on to the music and it became the sound track of our lives.